Once again, to start off the weekend with some festive reading material, here are the most liked microfiction stories from Dr. Fortuno’s Cabinet of Curiosities:
“I’m here about the job, but I can only work nights.”
“But Baseball is a summertime game …”
“No wooden bats. They might splinter and pierce my chest.”
“You’ll have a chest guard …”
“Do I get to bite the players who strike out?”
“You do understand this is an UMpire job.”
I’ve been having fun with these dialogue microfictions – it’s a great format for comedy. I didn’t expect this one to be the most liked story of the week, though. I guess dad jokes are always popular.
He would break into dance unexpectedly. Flamencos in the bank line, samba at the mall. We thought it was funny.
And then it started catching.
We waltzed in classrooms and tangoed in boardrooms. One week, the whole town became a broadway chorus line.
Then, sadly, they cured it.
This was the second most popular. A wistful fantasy of what it would be like if we had a pandemic of dancing rather than what we’re living with today. Just trying to let imagination transform the drudgery of today into something delightful.
“Master Li, I have failed. The novice you entrusted to my instruction avoids training, neglects duties, and rejects my correction.”
“How have you failed?”
“I cannot make him learn!”
Master Li chuckled. “You have not failed. You have learned that some people are just lazy.”
In third place we have a three way tie. The first of these is a little story inspired by Proverbs 10:26: “As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so are sluggards to those who send them.” I’ve been challenging myself to work through the Book of Proverbs by writing a story for each of the “fortune cookie” proverbs (beginning in chapter 10). I was surprised this one did so well.
The citrus sun inched closer to a wine-tinted ridge on the horizon. An ocean of cream colored dunes separated me from those mountains, where Rico was holed up with the gold.
Rico, who left me to die in the desert.
Rico, whose blood will slake my thirst.
Another Cerulean Prose prompt. We were given the color “cream.” For some reason, visions of Clint Eastwood and spaghetti westerns came to my mind.
“‘Less is more.’ That’s all you’ve written?”
“Yes. It says everything.”
“You said you were writing a novel.”
“It’s a minimalist novel.”
“There is such a thing as taking things too far.”
“Would it help if I use a jade green Comic Sans font?”
I’ll admit, this was a comic story I had written and waiting in the wings until the Cerulean Prose prompt gave me an outrageous color.
I hope you liked these. Please go out to Dr. Fortuno’s Cabinet of Curiosities and enjoy more and share them with your friends.
And for more microfiction fun, visit this week’s featured account: Shorter Than Fiction. Humorous, entertaining, and often starring a hapless character named Hank. Here are a few of my favorites:
The rebel leader signed the treaty.
“Remember.” The ambassador said, “No more killing.”
The rebel leader hesitated. “Fine.” He said wondering what they were gonna do with $8 million worth of grenades.
That’s when he came up with the Anger Management Resort and Spa.
Hank yawned as he opened the door to 47 cops and federal agents with guns, all pointed his direction.
“Stand down or we’ll be forced to fire.”
Hank didn’t realizing he’d been in a four day standoff with the cops. He’d been eating wings and binge-watching Gilmore Girls.
“Sir, the satellite has crashed.”
“Where? Did it make it to the moon?”
“No, it crashed near Space Mountain in Disneyworld.”
“That’s not close. Who programmed it?”
“He did.” Pointing at Hank.
Hank swiveled in his chair after hearing his name, Mickey ears worn proudly.
Have a great weekend, everybody!